a big thank you to all

i just want to thank everyone who shared in this very special time with us. This Christmas season was a most special and meaningful time for my family. even tho we werent able to see everyone in person, i know everyone was present with us in spirit. i hope each and every one of you got what you wanted...i know i did. i was able to take a few days off work and spend some quality time at home and just relax and spend some one on one time hanging out and playing with my family. it was great and couldnt have asked for better. well maybe if i somehow could have waved a magic wand and got my entire family in one place at the the same time but that seems to be a bit impossible as we have grown to be such a large family and now have spread out all over the place, so i am thankful to have had what i did. the pictures i recieved from everyone were great as they give me a daily visual reminder of those most important people in my lives and i thank you for that. in return i would like to share these with you. i wish everyone a safe and happy new year and we will talk to you all soon



love tanya

can anyone help me to understand??

so here is my dilemma...this week i got notice that two people have committed suicide. one an 18 year old boy who i dont know and the other a guy i visited with a couple times a week. joking around and basic chit chat.sort of like a friend.
i dont know how to feel about this. on one hand i am mad. what could possibly be so wrong that you would choose to end your own life and do so in a place that you knew your parents would be the first to see you. just hanging there so obvious what your intentions were. then i am sad. what made you feel this desperation and feeling like this was the only way out. then i am mad that i am mad but i am also sad. sad for the family you left behind, all of your friends and those who love you, and your three year old son. and especially for you. what was bothering you so much and was there no one who could help...did you ask for help and we just didnt hear...so many questions are forever going to be unanswered. i dont know how i am supposed to feel. i am mad at your selfishness and yet i am confused, then i am mad at myself...i dont know what you were going thru. i cant imagine how low you must have felt to think this was the only way to make it better. how can i judge you. i cant i have no right to and for that i am sorry. but i dont agree with you that this will make it all better. that is my opinion and that is all. i hope you now have the peace you were looking for and you will forever be missed by more people that i think you knew.
so my friend this is goodbye and even tho i am mad i will be thinking of you often.