totally freaked out
| well this morning started off normal enough. I finished cleaning my house and sat down to watch a bit of tv and have a smoke when knock knock the cops are at my door. I just got subpoena'd to go and testify against my foster boys father for threatening to kill me. Yeah I am more than a little freaked out. he threatened me with a gun and a knife and numerous harassing phone calls at all hours of the night and now I have to go face him again. and to make matters worse, the info the supoena requests I bring in I can't get. I will have to go back to the cops to try to get it. also with no witnesses it is basically his word against mine. he has a very violent past so I hope the judge believes me or he will be even more pissed off at me when court is over. Will he come after me again. I really hope not and it will be over. He believes it is my fault his kids got taken away permenantly and i am scared he will try to hurt Bryce for an eye for an eye. I am truely freaked out here and don't know what to do besides tell the truth. I am in tears already so I can only imagine what I will be like in court. I don't want to look like an overly emotional blubbering little girl and loose credibility. any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks T |
posted by tanby @ 10:51 AM
4 Comments:
A judge has enough experience to tell when tears are faked to get sympathy and when tears are genuine and out of pure emotion (be it fear, sadness or guit). That being said, I highly doubt that if you turn into a blubbering idiot b/c you are genuinely afraid of this jerk that your credibity will be compromised. If anything, I believe it will allow the judge to see how genuinely afraid you are and how genuinely you feel this happened. On the other hand, if this juerk reacts with anger in anway (whether it be body language, facial expression, what have you) the judge willnotice that and with this guy's history and your allegations, it will only hurt his defense of "I didn't do nuttin'!"
I understand your fear, completely related to your fear. I doubt, or want to doubt, that this guy would go after Bryce. If he can't take care of his own kids, he's probably too lazy to do anything. So my best advice to you is to TRY not to let it worry you, be cautious but not paranoid, if ever in doubt of your or Bryce's safety call the police and rely on God. Say a prayer, ask Him to protect you and to send His angels down to protect you and Bryce when you're awake & when you're sleeping. Never doubt your "instincts"; they are usually correct. Just don't mistake fear for gut feelings.
If you ever need us, we are here whether it be to just talk, you want a place to stay or you want Bryce to come for a "visit".
thanks A. Bryce will be at the farm till the 11th so that gives me time to see what will happen but i will keep you posted
thanks R
Parents often lash out at the fosterparents because they feel that it's being thrown in their faces that someone else can do a better job raising THEIR kids.
Please don't let this awful experience stop you from being a foster parent. Those kids need all the loving homes they can find.
You might want to check with your licensing agent to see if in the future, your identity can be protected from the family. And yes, I know that sometimes even that's not enough.
Also, it's ok to admit on the stand when testifying that you are nervous and scared. Let them reassure you. And don't back down. If you don't testify, he will win. I would think that the fact that he now has a protective services case that was substantiated would go a long way with any judge to show that his moral character is lacking. You will be just fine. Even in a he said-she said situation, you will still smell like a rose.
Good luck to you!
Cutie
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