update

well, made it through another day ok. Still feeling blue but maybe not so bad. I think I may have figured out what triggered this mood. Last week should have been my happy divorce day but he still won't give me my divorce. Anyway, Just having that in mind also brought back all the garbage he used to say to me..I'm fat, ugly, stupid and no one else would ever want me so I should be thankful I have him. I know this is stupid but for somereason it all came rushing back. I know I have gained 50 lbs since I injured my leg and I don't feel very attractive right now and not having any friends close to me also reinforced the "no one will want you" comments. Once again I know this is stupid and I just have to learn how to like myself again and know others will like me for me. This obviously will take time to overcome but now maybe I can start working on it, now I have realized this is a trigger for me. I gottga go cuz I'm about to pamper myself with a bubblebath and a book, but I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still kickin'.