have you seen my son??

he is out somewhere on vacation "Up North" somewhere and if he has his way I'm sure he will try to convince Gramma and Papa to stop in. He look at pictures of your kids every night saying"that's my..." for each and every one of them. He is also positive he saw C.K in Stoon a few days ago. R. is she down here with her dad? anyway, I had to work solo for another 9 hrs today and this time I never messed anything up. And I even had 7 customers today. A personal best I must tell you. So now I know I can do most of the tasks required at this new job. I just gave to get over the boredom. Oh well can't have everything I guess. Well it's now time for supper so this was just a quick post to tell everyone I survived the day. Take care all T.

boy, did i get spoiled

what a nice surprise... this morning i work up to a special, gormet breakfast. it was obvious how much time and thought went into making it special, just for me. it started off with double hot toast with gabs of jam, served so eloquantly on a spiderman plate, followed by a big bowl of hot cereal served in a bright green bowl. it looked ummm....great!??? if it isn't obvious by now my son made his first attempt at making a "real" breakfast for me. rough translation of what I actually ate(choked down) was burnt toast and cheerios with milk warmed up in the microwave. sounds great hey. the thought was there even though the food was gross, it was made with love and that makes me spoiled. He is going away "on a holiday and won't be back for 10 days" actually he is going away for the weekend but to him that is forever. and he wanted to do something special for me. Well, it could have been worse. he never even made a mess for me to clean up so it;s all good. Anyway this was just so cute I had to share. Hopefully someone else sees the humour and if this has happened to you feel free to share your experience. I would love to hear about it T.

the boys made it home

well, as I said before, my two foster boys went to BC today. Last night we got to spend some time with them before they left. It was great! The look in their eyes when they saw me was beyond anything I can put in words. They became happy and relaxed and laughed. Boy it was like giggle fest 2005 in here with the three boys hugging, kissing playing together and laughing. It did my heart good to see the joy they felt being around us again. The baby even cuddled into me and fell asleep with his small hand on my cheek. It felt so peaceful and relaxing but at the same time broke my heart. I was crying as he slept peacefully in my arms. It was wonderful. Bryce couldn't give them enough love- he almost smothered them with all the hugs and kisses he was giving. We got to meet Gramma Linda and Aunty Sue and of course they spoiled Bryce, but it also let him know the boys were going to some good people. He was a little upset when they left cuz he wanted to go on the plane with them but it really isn't a good time for that yet. Maybe someday after they get the other boys settled into their new life. We'll see. These last few days have been very emotionally draining for me so tonight I plan to relax- have a bubble bath, read a book and go to bed early. So this is all for now. Take care all. T.

it wasn't my fault

well I just got off the phone with my boss. She was very pleasant with me and explained what I did wrong.I miscounted the $10's in the safe. She wasn't at all upset and said I did amazing considering I had never opened before by myself. Or at all actually. I have someone opening with me on Wed so I can practice and she said if I need more Practice I can come in again and go through it with her. This totally releaves my mind. See, I stressed all weekend for nothing. I can now see that she is going to be understanding and helpful. Now I won't be all stressed going to work tomorrow. I feel much better now and maybe I can relax for a while before I get back to studying. I am starting a new book and would like a clear head before I get started. There will be more to come later when I find out when my company is coming in from BC. Today is the day, and tomorrow after court it will be official. My foster boys are going to BC to start a new life-away from this crazy life that was forced upon them here in S'toon. I wish them all the best and will love them forever T

MY FIRST DAY SUCKED!!!

Well today was the day I was by myself all day and boy did that suck. First customer came at 3:30 and amy next came at 5:30. so it was extremely slow. I was positive I did everything right until it came time to cashout and I was $100 short. Where it went I don't know, I'm sure I just entered something wrong but I don't even know where to start looking to find out what. It was probably when I started to day cuz the only time I ever did that was my first day of work and I didn't even post the open. So basically I never did it before. I was/am so frustrated cuz now I have to sit on this mistake till Monday when the store opens and I had to leave a note for my manager that I f***ed up and hopefully she can fix it. The other manager she told me to contact for help was no help at all cuz she couldn't access our computer system. So now I am tired, bored, and very frustrated cuz I am expected to open twice a week and they had better give me more training if they want me to know what to do. There I have said all I needed to say for now, and hopefully this will help put my mind at ease for now. If anyone has some good news I would love to hear about it. Enough dwelling on my bad day I need to hear about something good. Take care all T.

it's been a crazy week

as you have previously heard I now have a job and have been there for almost a week. It is going good but tomorrow I have to run the store totally solo. I am by myself from open to close and I am very nervous. I know it won't be busy but I'm still nervous none the less. Realistically, I know I will be fine though. It feels really good to finally be off WCB!!! and getting a real paycheck. I have been crazy busy though since I work 32 hrs a week and still have to get my hours in at school. It will be this way til the first week of Sept. then it will slow down. That is my first piece of good news. The second is my two little former foster boys finally are going to BC to their family. A step-Aunt is getting custody of them and she is coming out here to get them on Monday. It is such a relief to know they are finally going to a stable, loving family where they can be together and finally have the chance to grow as young boys should. I will even get to see them before they go. God, I miss those boys! My last bit of news is more like mothers pride than good news but my son(4) can ride his bike "all by himself" He is so proud of himself and only fell once when the training wheels got caught in a crack in the sidewalk. He is very excited about summer and would love the chance to ride a horse. His Uncle promised him a long time ago he could when he was bigger and he has decided that he is indeed bigger now so he hounds me all the time." My Uncle said..." Hopefully soon I can arrange for this to happen for him. Well that is about all the time I have for today as I work tomorrow AM and still have lots to do Take care and check back soon.

It's about time

Today I finally got some good news. I found a job that is rewarding and something I can do.
A little over a year ago, I was injured at work and have been off work on disability ever since. Not many people understand my condition which is called Reflex Sympathetic Distrophy. It is very complex and affects everyone differently. What it is to me, is my nerves from mid-back to my toes on my left side aren't working. This causes poor circulation, un-natural pain response, insensitivity to heat and over sensitivity to cold. I aslo have extreme pain but I don't have the ability to feel if something pierces my skin. For example: Icarried a thumb tack around in my foot for who knows how long and didn't feel it. I didn't know it was there until I saw the blood.
This has been a very trying time for me as now I have to find ways to accomidate my injury into my life. Getting this job will be a good first step. I know I have lots to offer, and working may help to get my spirits back up.I will hopefully feel useful and whole again. Don't get me wrong, I know there are many people out there worse than me, but it still depresses me that I will never be up to where I was before I got hurt. Every cloud has a rainbow and for me today the sun just started to shine. There will be a rainbow in my very near future

How Sweet It Is

This year, from Jan-June, I had the privelede to be a foster parent to two young boys-then aged 3 mths and 18 mths. They came from a terrible home where they were never fed, beat, or left completely alone. They were very troubled boys with huge trust issues. Could you blame them? After the first month when they realized there was always food, and I would't hurt them, they started to open up and begin to trust me. What a rush to once again have the joy of being there for all the firsts. The baby rolling over, learning to stand, to take his first steps... and the other childs first words, and the joy he had in his eyes whenever he saw me. I was the one who took them for medical treatment(which they needed a lot of) played with, fed, and kept them safe. They were here for about five months when social services decided to let the parents have another chance. That lasted for exactly 8 days before they got pulled again. The boys were once again in danger. Since that time they have been floated to three different foster homes in three weeks. My poor boys. Yes I do and will always consider them to be mine. I know this is wrong and I have to let go but somehow I can't yet. The system is so forgiving to natural parents that they sometimes forget who the victums are. If the parents cared at all they never would have neglected them in the first place-let alone the second chance. So for now there are two little angels floating around lost. I can only hope someday soon they find a safe, loving place where they can feel as though they belong.

first draft

well i'm new to this but i heard its great.
my life as a single mom with a four year old child has been crazy busy but also keep you on your toes beautiful. One the day he was born, his Great Grandpa passed away. He was very sick battling cancer, but every day from Christmas on he would ask if I had that baby yet. Finally on March 23, I had my beautiful baby boy. Perfect in every way. On his first birthday, we left his father for many, many reasons. Sorry son, what a gift for your 1st big day but look how it turned out. I stayed home for another year and then put myself thru school again. I got my degree in Personal Care Aide and was lucky enough to land not one but two great jobs. It was really hard on both of us that I had to work so much but we were just starting over and needed the money. Unfortunately 14 months ago I got hurt at work and have been off on medical diasbility ever since. Today I got clearance to go back to work. Well, actually, to find a "light"job that would take in to considerations all my medical restrictions. Well, we'll see what my magical fairy can come up with but hopefully I will find something soon. Also, in this last year I have met a wonderful man who is so very good to us. He has a good, stable job and that means I will only have to work one job. How lucky to still be able to have lots of home time. I don't want to miss anymore time than absolutely necessary. Today was good, tomorrow will be better
That is all for now
grumpymama